06 April 2008

The life of a Placement Coordinator - unedited version!




NOTE: Applicable only to CITians, and ones without an empty head at that. Published on request by a friend. An old rejected article ;)


I want to run away,
Never say goodbye..
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why..
I wanna know the answers
No more lies..
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind.

It all starts towards the end of your third year. Aah! How well life can treat a guy! To think of all those happy moments when you wondered if you had to do anything at all for the next few days, spending the days thinking, wandering aimlessly… nobody would know how long they would last…but , you would never notice it at the mercy of 60 students and one HOD searching for a person whom everyone can blame for the next 365 days..

One would hear all sorts of facilities a PC could get.. “There’s a room at the end of the corridor… Two systems, speakers, DVD writer, sofa, fans, never ending supply of stationeries and the room is a cool place to hide when in danger…” , “You would get OD for all companies, no need to attend half the classes, far from the madding crowd running after their degrees..”, “You can move with all the HRs from various companies, a PC can interact with an HR as much as the Principal himself can.”, “You would be one of the most respected in the department, after all, it’s a great service that you do..”

Well, who can resist? There would be the urge in every mind to become a placement coordinator. And yet, something would be shouting like Hell from the back of your mind. “The job sounds great.. Why do they call it a service?! cool place to hide? Why should I hide?!.... running after degrees?..” All of it would sound strangely vague. You would see your senior PCs waiting with scapegoat-like looks in front of rooms you wouldn’t want to enter often. The only word they’d say to your query about a PC job would be “NOOOOOooooo!” Yet, enticed by the sweet words around you, you would volunteer (forced, in the case of wise people who would try everything to escape..) and stand for an election that’d be regretted very soon.
And then, one gloomy day, (heavy downpour in my case.. heavens crying for me!) they would announce the inevitable. And then, you will be permitted to enter that room at the end of the corridor.. The Placement Cell… You should notice they call it a CELL, to warn people. One must praise whoever named it that way. But, You’d be very happy to imagine 60 careers in your hand, and that you, the champion, should decide the fate of many! And a mix of responsibilty and pride that a lot of people have put so much trust in u!
It would sound very simple. You got to call a company, it would come. You got to arrange rooms, mike, projector, food. The process would be over once you send people into the interview in order. Then the result, and pack up. And you’d get infinite supply of food from a good restaurant. Very cool, eh? Trust me, jumping from the top of Eiffel tower would sound thrilling too…
When companies start coming, you will be working overtime. Running around arranging stuff, ordering people, and coordinating with a real sweet lady HR with eyes that can disturb your sleep for at least a week. Food will be good, and you’ll like it. Then, things will unwind and the Devil would start smiling at you. The problems that you’ll have to face would rival George Bush’s Iraq war policy. To put it simply, you’ll believe you will be screwed up. There would be this instance of someone returning the projector the evening before a company, and you’re left with nothing to conduct a PPT and the accounts section would shout rules and procedures at you. The management would shout at your inefficiency, and people would tell you if their vote was wrong after all. All this when you are madly searching for that ******* who returned the projector you had somehow obtained by a lot of begging the previous day. There would also be this instance where you are screwed up for absolutely nothing by approximately everyone for you-will-not-know-what! You’ll be sabotaged for the poor conduct of even one person from your class during any company. Well, if you ask me, you’ll have the toughest time diverting telephone calls to office and receiving faxes, which eventually turn out to be political posters, hotel menus or permission letters for girls to leave their hostels. And a thousand others you wouldn’t want to pen down for fear of losing a degree. And, yes.. there’s the enquiry…

20 people, one big table, you enter the room to push the room to silence.. you can identify the bigtime people at the head of the table. People seated all around you. You, on the other hand, standing, looking at the head, imagining that this could only be a dream. There would be questions thrown at you from every corner of the room, half in the global language and half in the local language. You must be very careful not to mix those questions up.. “comeon.. now, who asked first? Yes.. but this guy’s senior.. should I answer the first or second? And hey, should I reply in English or Tamil?!” Trrrring.. your time is up, and you can kiss your luck goodbye. Before you decide which to answer first, they would decide what to do next, with a usual fine on all Placement coordinators without ”partiality”, without even caring if the guy had actually been in the city during the so called MISTAKE which could range anywhere between a change in the initial during an address by one of those gentlemen, or using any of the halls that were entirely…. free (did u think otherwise?) without permission, because the permitted halls were not enough, and you used that hall to keep the pride of the college flying high.

I don’t want to waste time n space writing about those bashi-bazouks who call themselves students, who would have just got placed that day, and would ask if they can attend the next company that sets its foot inside college. They would enquire you about things the HR people themselves would not know, and would spread the word that you are as dumb as a dead dodo. And think about those students who might say you are misusing your ‘POWER’! Well, can you be held responsible for giving him a black eye?!

Now now.. lets get get back to the facilities a PC can get… A big room? Yes, to finish records and observations before your lab tests.. and yes, to hide from danger.. Yes, people run after degrees, and you do not… because you’ve lost hope you’d actually get one! Yes, you do move with HRs at the expense of classes, and you’d be left in a situation that you’ll have to attend ten extra hours beforehand if you are to refrain yourself from attending classes at a later date due to Typhoid. Huh!
AND YES, ONE HELL OF A SERVICE!!!!
At the end of the day, the things that would get you some sleep are an occasional pity that someone felt for you, or those lovely eyes I’d mentioned about. And now, you have your juniors coming upto you and askin you what all they got to do to be a good PC just-like-you. And you will only be able to say….. “NOOOOOoooooo!”

6 comments:

  1. Hmmmm. Now this is what I call venting out all those agonies and bottled up frustrations by THE BEST OUTGOING STUDENT of an ESTEEMED COLEEGE :) :)

    And yet, as you say, people do want to be in service. Why, I myself would've, had it not been for my academic disasters!!

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  2. he he.. jus 4 fun :)

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  3. If the placement cell had worked harder in 2007 I would've had so much of a better life now. .. sighhhhhh ...

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  4. You didn't even want to attend placements, Mr. Who-will-go-for-a-job-when-I-can-continue-going-to-college.

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