03 November 2008

Brett "the Jet" Lee

This post is not about Brett Lee or Jet li. This is about the Malaya lee who runs 90 percent of all Barber shops in India.. The Malaya Lee who did not have the heart open a Barber shop in my part of Bengalooru...

I didn't realise how many days it had been since i had a haircut or a shave for that matter, till a passerby said, "Sami Saranam" when i was out for dinner on Saturday.

So, at about 9 : 30 AM on Sunday the 2nd of October, i went to the hairdressers'. This is not the first blog ever on a visit to the Hairdressers'. (Refer Vinod Ganesh's blog on Malabar Hair dressers and Gelf..). But then, this is not about the Malayalee Scissor Specialists. Today, i'd been to a "Namma Saloon", a totally Bengaloored Hindi Fellow setup. And one thing to learn out there, you need to have great marketing skills and an awesome communication quotient to get a good hair cut.

I was only the second guy in the queue when i entered the shop, but was the sixth guy called up to the altar, a good 30 minutes after I stepped in.

"Cutting? Shaving?"

I said, "Hmm.. Both".

The guy went on to take his comb and scissors and started 'workin' on my head without even asking me if I was there to trim it or cut it short. I stopped him after a few seconds and said that I wanted a military cut (:D) and if he had that machine cut technology. :P. And all this with my Broken Hindi mixed with Kannada and Tamil. He showed me the scissors and said, "Scissors." I had no idea how to argue with that statement. He then continued from where he'd left and made a statement with my head in less than 5 minutes. I am not sure where i was looking for the ensuing minutes. Perhaps , i closed my eyes. I do remember closing my eyes when he was working over the frontal lobe of my skull (that's the one in the front, isn't it?), and when I opened em after about 60 seconds, I saw a mixture of Bruce Lee, Jet Li and Brett Lee on the mirror in front of me. No, not the Jet Li from "Once upon a time in China",but the one from the Western movies. Was it Lethal Weapon 4? It looked like I'd tonsured my head about a week back and the hair had regrown in some parts. More like a brown colored Brett lee, who had this tonsure a week back, add to it the expression of Bruce Lee after any of his famous Final-Life-taking-shot from his fights.(For those who don't know, he bites his teeth, shrinks his eyes (further), manages to project his earlobes, tries so much that all his nerves and/or veins show and says, "Eeeeeeeeee"..) Add to it Jet Li's face through a filter. Ta da!

I still had some hope left in me. I said, "Front part mein Zyada hai, sides to compare karke.. Front mein aur bhi thoda cut khijiyae na?..er?.. bhaiya?"

He gave a look that looked like Ahmedijinad's reaction if you'd say "Bush Rocks!" to his face. He kept still for a second, shook his head and said,"Shaving? Haan? Square? Slope?" I was not that strong with my Math, so i shut up and nodded, what ever he'd take out of it.I had no idea what slope had to do with a Hair cut... Or squares, rectangles or circles, for that matter.

I came home, only to find Jagan thinking twice before letting me in. And people in my room have discussed about Jet Li two or three times since morning, and I have a weird feeling that my absolutely unintentional hair-do reminded them of Jet Li.

Yes, a Completely changed man in an hour. And all credit to Namma Hindi Saloon. :)


  1. dey....wednesday to wednesday nadandhadha pathi eludha porey nu wait pana...barber shop pathi elduhirukey... bt anyhow...was laughing out loud...(un mugatha jetli mari nenachu pathen...sipu vandhuruchu sipu).....

  2. Action hero, eh bro? Tried any somersaults ;) ;) ?

  3. Why do you even bother, grow your hair and beard or take both off ...

    @Sooraj: Is it Mandark in your profile pic??

  4. Dai is this the what you mentioned in your previous post?

  5. @Anu, Mayil na: Wednesday 2 Wednesday epdi eldardu nu therila.. konjam long time ah irukaa.. Adhaan, cover pandradu kashtam.

    @Mo-Hawk Ivan: Bangalore thaane varuvinga. apo pathukaren..