28 July 2010

Accounting Definitions for Dummies

Ac-counting: Counting the number of times you see / talk to her everyday.

Bank balance: What you think she knows about you.

Cash Balance: What she actually knows about you.

Assets: Acts expected to give you future benefits. Like saving her cat from somewhere (after putting it there first).

Going Concern: Assumption that the girl will be single on the next day. If this assumption cannot be made, all assets will be noted as expenses (aka waste of time)

Liabities: Acts that require a settlement to be made. Like the money you borrowed from a friend to buy that useless coolers.

Provision for Bad debts: The friend thinking that he's not getting the money back.

Bad debts - write off: The friend knowing that he's not getting the money back.

Sole proprietorship: When noone else knows you are crazy about her.

Partnership: When you have a wing-man to say "Haaave you met Ted?"

Private Limited: When you alone know about the slap you got from her.

Public Limited: When all those embarrassing details are in public domain.

Profit and Loss account: Detailed info about the good and bad impressions she has on you. Usually a loss. A bad one at that.

Periodicity: The period for which a balance sheet is calculated. Usually starts on the day after the worst embarrassment since you want to forget about it.

Balance sheet: A complete statement that shows, among other things, Accumulated depreciation.

Depreciation: The redundancy you manage to create in her mind about you by being at all the places she frequents and smiling like an idiot... or by saying the same statement to her everyday. (How are you doing?)

Accumulated depreciation: Sum depreciation over the years.

Ethical issues in accounting: In case she already has a boyfriend, the dilemma you get into if it is ethical to break them up.

Journal Entry: Pouring your heart out to a friend.

Ledger posting: That guy taking a video and putting it up on the net.

Trial balance: Testing if she reacts to this video saga. This forms an important part of the balance sheet.


PS: Accounting (real one) is a new concept to me. Forgive technical errors, if any :D

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