08 December 2012

I'm Back

In the last few weeks, I had been deeply disappointed with myself.

When I looked into the mirror, I saw a depressed workaholic with no regrets, not sure about what he was doing or what he wanted to do. He was always looking to eat something or the other like the Panda. Was I upset? This was not the Aswin I'd known for the last two decades.

So, as I take the break to write (or at least start writing) my book, I am scared. I find it difficult to write - enjoyable, but difficult - after eight months of excel sheets. I looked at my edited story line and I didn't like to myself. I was not going to write that.

I missed the old me who would have no difficulties whatsoever when it came to writing. MS Word and Songs in the background were all I needed to live my life. Some food now and then, yes, but it was hardly a necessary condition.

So, when today, after packing bags,  calling cab and everything for my trip to a friend's wedding, when I decided to call it off at the last minute to make it to a meet tomorrow, I realised that I was once again the old, indecisive, go-with-the-flow me, not the 'but this is not supported by data' me. All this after I'd shaved after a zillion days and pressed the shirts for probably the first time since my parents left to visit my brother.

I'm back.

PS: The two friends who are getting married in the next two days might kill me on seeing this post. Neither read blogs, so I should be okay. Others who know them, sssshhh!

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