01 December 2013

Guardiola is Rajinikanth


Why, How, What?
Here's your proof.

Prerequisite: Are you a Thamizh, Football fan?

Guardiola receiving award for inventing Chitti.

Guardiola saying "Andha Aandavane namma pakkam irukaan..."


Guardiola saying "Ulle Po" To Manu.

Guardiola trying Padayappa Salute

Jose saying "Enna Sivaji ipdi panitanga..."

Guardiola saying "Idhu Kuluvaali" and asking for route to Kallipatti

Guardiola and Sammer singing "Kaatu Kuyilu Manasukkula"

Guardiola goes "Ooo Kick Yeruthe..."

Guardiola goes "Ma'am. Just a minute" #Padayappa

Guardiola tries "Pera kettavudane chumma athiruthilla!"and fails.

Guardiola says to Ribery "Naan Oru thadava sonna..."


Malai da.  Annamalai.

From 5 minutes and One Google search. I'm guessing we could map every famous Rajini quote if we delve further. 

14 November 2013

How do you define a bad day?

Warning: This is a Rant. Move on to older / newer posts if you don't care for it.

Does a bad day start with a weird idea like changing your wireless router's password at 1 AM?

...Thinking that the unusually slow internet speed these past few days is probably because of someone else using it. But yea, you don't remember the login for 192.168.1.1.

What should you do then? 'Stop thinking crazy and go to sleep' sounds like a good idea. Do NOT reset modem settings. Now, you don't know the username password to connect to BSNL and online solutions are not working. Bad donuts, no internet for you. You should go back in the evening and do something about it, sigh.

That's not a terrible start, no? Just some craziness. So you switch on 2G net on the phone at 2 AM to check just what the heck went wrong with the modem. In about half an hour of usage (ie. one chrome browser to google all the modem stuff), you lose 100+Rs of balance and your phone is suddenly out of balance as well.

Still, you should just go to sleep and stop coming up with something even worse. You sleep at 4 after all this, get up late, hurry to go to work but you end up in the slowest autorickshaw in town. While you manage to overtake several stationary vehicles, bikes overtake you...when they are braking. You get really pissed off when a guy walks quickly past the auto. The auto-driver gives you his Nokia phone and says 'it doesn't work.Help.' You switch it off, switch it back on and It works properly like Windows (Microsoft effect?). Before you could feel a little good about your (ahem) technique's success, the guy starts calling someone on the phone eagerly and lets the auto hit the vehicle in front of it. Random multi-lingual swearing and time-wasting ensues.

That's not so bad, though, but when you're at a traffic signal and the doofus in the next vehicle decides to fling cigarette ash out his driver seat and onto your hand more than a foot away (it gets on your nerves literally - the heat, that is), it takes all your willpower to not shout at him, and while brushing the ash away, you notice a worm on you. That's right. Turn around and the autowallah has a bunch of vegetables behind the passenger seat which, naturally, has a few worms. You get rid of that worm and sit in one corner. But then, till you reach your office or maybe even later, you're not really sure if there are any more on you.
 Congrats, your optimism about Thor's day is almost at the cleaners. Hope you will get out of this mood and concentrate better on work after eating - which you realise you last did yesterday afternoon, if you discount the plate of onion rings n cold coffee you had around 8 PM.

There are people having a worse day with life-threatening issues, you suppose. But what do I think? I think it's better if people stay away from you today - because somehow, somewhere, one Mjolnir Smash is definitely on the cards. The odds are 2:1 at the moment.

Here's to the rest of the day.

Hope I fix the damn router.
Hope I get to restart work on the book at night to make up for this.
...and while we're at it, Hope I get a gir, nah, who am I kidding?

08 September 2013

Of Google Scholars and Wiki Wizards

Art by Retronator at Deviant


'Wait. Really?'

Peter Tharoll opened google in a new tab and typed 'Amit Rover involvement in murder'. He skimmed through the top two links, one about some hearing about it that happened two weeks earlier and another was a random blog that seemed very anti-political. All major politicians were linked to something or the other in that blog.

He went back to the facebook discussion where people were arguing for and against the fellow. His first googling showed him his manifesto and it looked good. He had mentioned development, roads and schools. So, Tharoll put in a statement supporting Rover for the elections that were coming up. Some random guy named Ajay Pradhan showed up and said, 'but he is being investigated for murder!'

Tharoll didn't have a clue. He told himself that he should have refrained from putting that comment on his friend's post. Now, everyone would know that he didn't know anything.

The case was still being heard. 'Ha, there's a point I can use', he thought to himself.

He went back to the post and started typing out the comment, 'I knew some guy would show up and pin it on Mr. Rover and here is @Ajay. The case is still being heard. Who are you to...' he went back to Google and looked up the top two links about Mr. Rover's major opponent in his constituency, the sitting MLA. He found lots of complaints about how the constituency became worse than it was five years ago. 'Brilliant', he thought to himself.

He started retyping the comment. He was determined to make the other guy look stupid. 'Mr. Rover is a national icon and a possible ministerial candidate. That'd bring a lot of focus to the constituency and development will be forced to happen. Also, the case you're mentioning is still being heard in the courts. Accusing him of that reeks of stupidity and disregard for the Law. Do the words Innocent until proven Guilty mean anything to you?'

Two edits later, he published the comment.

-

Ajay Pradhan saw his notification.

'What? The case is still going on? But I read on that blog...' "Damn it", he shouted at the empty room around him.

He went back to googling Mr. Rover and his opponent. He thought he found something against Mr. Rover when he saw that blog. Now, his comment just looked stupid. He found how the sitting MLA had zero cases against him (score!) and researched more about the case and Mr. Rover in general. He found some accusations about local goondas being protected by him. 'Awesome, I can make something out of this', he thought. He found a random blog post where a lady complained about eve teasing on the roads in one of the arterial roads in the area.

'Mr. Rover's election will only embolden the Goondas in the area to become more shameless and fearless. Read this link about how a lady was harassed by Goondas backed by him. And you want citations for that, I suppose? Read this news from a local media channel. You mentioned that the case was still being heard. Did you see that all the guys who are in police custody are goons working for this rowdy Bajan Raj? There is little doubt who did it, but the law is being arm twisted to protect Rover.

Our sitting MLA has enough problems protecting the likes of you and me from monsters like Rover. And he has zero cases against him. It is appalling to see how you could support such antisocial elements.'

That looked good. He was getting prepared for a long debate on that thread.

-

PS: Unedited version. Thought of putting this up on the stories blog, but this didn't feel so much like fiction.

21 July 2013

Ship of Theseus, A Review? A Rant?

  • Aswin Sambamurthy


    cinematography - beyond good. If I make a movie in this life and I get to work with that quality of lighting / camera work, I'd cry out of sheer happiness.
    some actors - jaw-drop-level good. esp the monk.
  • Aswin Sambamurthy

    the monk's suffering, however, is best left to himself. or a mere minute can be enough.
    ten minutes of suffering? "what dafuq did i sign up to watch" level.
    deliberate attempt at slow scenes - ok, can adjust. director's freedom.
    the story sucked.
    the message was good, even necessary.
    the story sucked.
    the last ten minutes were for some feel good part.
    all of us knew exactly what was gng to happen, and it did.
  • Aswin Sambamurthy

    i am not saying, or rather, I don't have any rights to say it shouldn't have been
    but i didn't like the ending.
    i felt the attempt was, for the lack of a better word, average.
  • Aswin Sambamurthy

    I do not think art movies are great by default
    A book I write appeals to me. I write for myself. Everyone writes for himself.
    When that happens, it's called art, imo.
    When it appeals to everyone else, it's called great
    This won't.
    Godfather did.
  • Aswin Sambamurthy

    In a weird way, Dark Knight did.
  • Aswin Sambamurthy

    Fight Club did that with a grin.
    V for Vendetta defined it for me. Midnight in Paris was fantastic. The Man from Earth reached new levels.
  • Aswin Sambamurthy

    I felt this was more like Modern art.
    It is, imo, for people who'd make a mountain out of a mole.
    If people sign up for organ donation after watching this, I'd feel happy that organs are being donated and sad that this movie made them do it.
    I still think this is better than many other movies out there. I just don't think it is get up and clap level  like some worl-famous reviewers say.
    -- Too lazy to write one. Pasting from chat.