The Wanderer

Sticky feet 

Or sticky ground.

I cannot see.

I try to reason.

I need reason on my side.

I cannot see, of course.

It is dark. And cold.

No option to stop and check.

The darkness is such a place.

You keep walking. 

Or you don't get to.

I pray. That my feet be sticky.

Though I know where I am.

Exactly where I am.

I know the ground 

that sticks to one's feet.

It was a myth. Was.

Not anymore.

I've heard about it.

I've read about it.

I look around. Nonchalantly.

I keep walking.

I see darkness. All around me.

What else do you see,

when you walk in the dark?

And yet, there! A glint.

One more. And one more!

To my left, behind me.

Darker than dark.

That shine the dark alone possesses.

A shrine to the One we don't speak of.

I pray I see two of them. Or four.

Yet three there were.

As was written.

Three giant sections,

shining examples of the night -

each much wider than a house.

each much taller than our city gates.

The gates of Azzen.

Each with the unchanging glint

That consumed darkness

and perfectly reflected it.

It was an impossibility. Was.

The rumours were true then.

Three there were!

Three they were.

I counted again.

My last count. Three.

I drop my prayers.

The ground is stickier.

As is its nature.

I was one slip away

from joining the darkness.

For eons, if not forever.

One mistake away. Just one.

That is all they wait for.

Three there were,

the eyes of the Spider.

The ever attentive, ever focussed

black eyes of the Lord himself.

Focussed on me.

Far removed from logic,

My brethren would say.

Yet here he was.

Lord Spider, Warrior of Darkness.

And I'd wandered into his web.

-

Inspired by this line in the first Malazan book, 'Gardens of the Moon' by Steven Erikson.

"Somewhere in this strange place
a spider waits
for my panicked flight ..."

Reviving #3

It's been a very long time since I wrote anything here. So yea, Hi. How have you been?

Ever since I started working on the Immortal Game series, I stopped writing elsewhere - on football, music or anything else.

This is just an update-type-post, really.

I'm kinda done with the first book of the series now. Does it matter if I send it out to Publishers or not? I am personally not too happy with the output, so I might end up burying the book instead of getting shot down. I have sent a crude version out to a couple of them though.

Whatever, I am going to start writing normal stuff again. Here, that is.

Thinking of (re)starting with "#TheLaymanMusicReview", talking about AR Rahman's recent albums. Or maybe I will write about my experiences with quitting my last job, picking up my new one or the incredibly stress free hours I spent writing. Or maybe about the stress and the worries and the pizzas and the reducing account balance that dominated my non-writing hours.

If you want to figure out if you're a good writer, you should write a book. Articles and fun posts can only tell you so much about yourself.

Haven't told anyone yet, but I just started working on another (possibly) short story today - and no, it's not about either humour or madness. It's mostly a tribute of sorts to two of my favourite authors, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Dame Agatha Christie. Will probably publish it here if it doesn't get much bigger than a short story.

I have started rambling about mobile games as well. I'll post on twitter when my first post gets published.

One pain point is that there is no money in any of this. #Sucks #SourceOfAllStress

In the short term, I'll probably listen to 'I' this week and talk about it here. Do you want to do this together? Let me know.

What do I do for work, you ask? That could be another post, but all you seven readers already know about it, don't you?

Medieval Dreams.

Around 1995, I used to imagine that things would go back to medieval times - and people would fight with swords and shields again - that I would rule an ever expanding kingdom - with a couple of friends ruling neighbouring kingdoms - that every honest citizen of my kingdom would be happy - that I would have this majestic white horse, Chetak, the very image of which would bring hope to friends and fear to enemies - that I would have this uber awesome Queen by my side and we would rule most of the country some day. You know, every hero on screen had a girlfriend, or ended up with one. 

It was my Destiny. I was sure.

Around 1998, I thought I would be the person who would end up inventing the Light Saber. No one else seemed to care much about the infinite potential that the single invention would have. First, I had to create the laser guns used in the movies and then, the Light Saber would be a necessary defence mechanism and the Jedi way a necessary way of life. It amazes me to think how I believed that I would actually change the way the world worked.

I was destined to change the world. I knew that much.

Around 2002, I started filling school notebooks with stories. Stories that would happen in my dreams, that I would see on the streets that no one else cared to observe, that would be exaggerated a little to add that thrill or drama, that usually involved a bad ass villain, an honest hero and how one of the two overcomes the other. It wasn't necessary that the good guys won. I was a Darth Vader fan and I gave an equal chance to the villain. I controlled what I wrote.

I'd decided I'd settle for an Agatha Christie-like popularity instead of riding to war on Chetak. Sounded safer and a lot more peaceful.

These old thoughts, I think they were pushed to some unused area within my brain. There are loads of such areas, by the way. When I fell upon the facebook profile of the Commander of my Infantry units from 1995, it all came rushing back to me.

The Human Brain has infinite capacity for data and...hope. 

It's a shame we all prefer to get a monthly salary instead.

Crazy day. Really crazy day.

Ok, So I got up to news of two friends getting injured - one of them actually woke me up.

I learnt what crying from your heart means - that was the dream I was in before I woke up - and I am very sure I'll never forget that. Like ever.

I got a personal worst score in the macroeconomics test I so proudly blogged about. Gawd I am scared of it now.

I woke up once again... this time in the library with a book about movies in hand - I know. I don't remember taking that book from the shelves. Also, I went to the library twice in one day - most people don't go there even once. Got several leads on a project I am working on.

I saw a very cool movie that ended a while back, wondering about the looming macro end term in parallel and if I'd pass that subject. Just when I thought I couldn't score any less.

Heard the news that a friend of mine got placed at a different b-school, and that another one got a new job.

Laughed at myself for the thousand plus nth time for joining this college school. And oh, there are like a forty dead honey-bees in the corridor outside my door.

Like a wise man once said, 'This is the best of times, this is the worst of times'.

Crossovers - the stepping stones

[ This is in response to Aditya's very interesting post in the Literary Review <<< kilick there]

To begin with, I think his concerns are all understandable and genuine. I also think they are too ideal, given  the current scenario.

At the moment, I feel that there is a definite choice in front of most writers aspiring to be the next phenomenon in the Indian literary world. They can either choose to write good books OR they can choose to focus on making it a best seller. Hold your horses, folks, let me explain that a bit.

Getting both the factors right is what makes a great writer - totally agree, but we know that we have a minority there (relative to the size of the market). The majority, on the other hand, have to choose between the two - based on several factors...their principles, necessities, aspirations, abilities etc.

...and yea, why do people have to choose between these two factors and not any other?

Because that is the mindset of the Indian readership, or so it seems. I get this strange feeling that writers like Amitav Ghosh are more famous outside India than inside. Seven out of ten people I know wouldn't know him. On the other hand, books that are in the 'light reading' category have proved to be far more penetrative in the Indian market in the last decade or so. I feel that a mature market should not only have had an inverse trend, but should also have made it a no-contest in favour of the former (if it comes to a fight). The right question to ask here, I believe, is not if 'light reading' is a healthy trend, but if this is a trend that is here to stay.

Publishing houses want their books to sell - after all, they run a business. So, they choose to publish books that could cater to the 'reading masses' and not the elite. It is the responsibility of publishers to take the industry forward, yes, but is India ready to absorb serious lit? Publishers feel that we are not ready (going by their decisions) and I can only agree. Very few people in our country buy Nietzsche, but a lot more have bought 'the monk who sold his ferrari' (pathetic choice of books, sorry)

But will this new trend last? Will the generations that grow with this trend stick with the same forever? I think it is obvious in a sense that this will not be the case. These questions sound more to me like Justin Bieber taking on the Beatles... or something equally silly. The point is, they are different markets, and one leads the listener to another, in one or more ways.

What we witness now, according to me, is the transition from a non-market to a mass-market - and only a transition, to reiterate. It is a part of the growing up phase and a very necessary one at that. I am not saying that 'light reading' will fade out eventually - it will not, but as we go further down the road, people will want to read better books. Stepping stones are very often failures, yes, but they are the ones that lead us to success. The current phase has the potential to make that grown up phase a lot more attractive for everyone.

Transitions have never lasted forever, and here's hoping that the Indian Publishing industry will not be an exception.

--

"It suggests a basic lack of belief that quality books can be written by Indian authors — or an inability to recognise them. "

I really don't think so. The statement looks at the supply side alone. The availability of quality component does not mean that a manufacturer will go for them. He will go for them only if the market is ready to acknowledge and buy them.

"To try to ‘bridge the divide' is to get on a bridge to nowhere. The galling element here is not that you are arriving at mediocrity — there's no shame in that — but that you were aiming at it."

There is no point expecting people to buy a heavy reading, when over the years, they have not. If it's really that bad a book, it wouldn't sell at all, yes? If anything, seeing mediocre books on the shelves can only encourage the good writers out there to come out of their shells, which is good.

PS: All this is based on the fact that publishing, today, is just another business and not a medium that shapes generations and histories.

I love you too

Trees swaying slightly wildly,

This is a little stronger than a breeze but

A breeze at heart nevertheless. 

Drops of rain fall on me at times,

A very mild form of drizzle.

Or is it a strong rain distorted by a stronger wind?

There's the sweet smell of earth, intoxicating me

I just want to walk with you, nature.

The heat around me subsides at an astonishing rate,

As the cool winds gently touch my face.

I relish the two drops of rain in my mouth

And my eyes drink and revel in this natural splendour.

Ah, I can define heaven right now.

This is it.

If this is how Earth shows its love

To us tiny humans living on it,

I would be a fool to miss it.

I love you too, my dear planet.

I love you so much.

Check mate

I will always be proud of this win :)