This is a beautiful but sad world...
Sad because people are about themselves,
The self, the family and friends...
But I am not about myself and that seems wrong,
because people find me disturbingly different.
I find it hard to eat at big hotels
Or participate in treats and parties
When millions can't afford a grain of rice.
I don't like to buy suits and ties
Or new dresses for every passing festival,
When there are people who can't afford clothes.
I can't ignore the people on the road.
I can't stand to see people shoo off the strays
From their food, from their selves.
My mind revolts against me if I ignore all that, but
The haves, in general, they find the situation okay.
I think they are vaccinated against empathy.
Please tell me where to get one myself
I badly need it to live up to your expectations.
Some argue that tis the fate of the poor...
That they're too lazy to work for themselves.
The haves convince themselves that the poor can die hence.
The farmers die, the hungry die, the nameless die
and no one seems to even care about it.
I am not about myself, try to understand me.
I am not about myself and I'm sure I am right,
but the world around me finds it impractical.
It's not that I don't want to lead a comfortable life, heck I do!
I just want to take everyone else with me.
I don't see any point in 'progress', ye World
when you can stay nonchalant about deaths!
There's no difference between us and the Nazis
If we can coolly brush it off and stay selfish.
Yes, call me crazy and go on, world.
How else can you convince yourself?
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
02 November 2010
22 September 2008
Of Insomnia and Infinia..
It’s been 3 days now.. 3 nights, i should say.
I have been trying to sleep. But No, I cannot.
This Friday, I had to digest a very sad news. == I lost sleep. Well, there was at least a reason I couldn’t sleep. I got this software to play chess from a friend. Infinia. I installed it and was playing with a few guys over the net for sometime. Got bored. Saw TV. Got bored. Lied down, closed my eyes and spent about half an hour thinking why I couldn’t sleep. Got up again, drank water, looked at the sky for sometime, tried to wake my roomie, but in vain.. Tried watching some old movie I had. No. But I couldn’t sleep. It was about 5 in the morning when I slept of exhaustion. Was up by 8 or 9 in the morning. Not sure.
I did not sleep in the afternoon thinking that it may affect my night’s sleep. When darkness came over again, I was awake. Still awake. Tried to shut my eyes and think of Bhumika and Emma Watson, but heck I couldn’t sleep. Got up again. One of my roomies who knew I was awake through the previous night was looking at me in a weird way that could mean only this: “What the hell’s gotten into you???” I watched Godfather II, and another old movie. I took to Infinia again and won 3 matches in a row. One of my opponents was an American who hinted on knowing my nationality that I should have gotten up very early in the morning. I saw the time . five thirty in the AM. No way I am awake! It is quite a famous habit of mine , but for those who do not know, I sleep from 9 PM to 7 AM in general. And here I was, with 3 hours of sleep in 48. No reason, nothing. I just couldn’t sleep.
Sunday morning 6. I was thinking about the story I am working on for my book, hoping I’d sleep. And I did. Don’t know when though. Got up at eight thirty. “Insomnia” was the word running around in my head. Geez, what the heck’s gotten into me? I sent a message to a few people asking if anyone has experienced that before. No one replied. They must have thought that this was just the first step of another of my pranks.
Sunday went past. I did some traveling, and ate till the throat for dinner, taking every step to ensure that I’ll drop dead on my bed as soon as I reach home. But here goes. I didn’t sleep much last night either. At about 3 o clock in the middle of the night, after two successive losses in Infinia, and one pathetic attempt at creative writing for a friend, I decided that this was all I could take. I lied down and starting thinking about my book again. This time, sleep deserted me and badly at that. I looked at the time in my mobile now and then. And the last time I did that, that I could remember, was 4. 45. Just imagine, almost two hours of simply trying to sleep. I didn’t sleep despite the exhaustion I was (and am) feeling. It was torture, but I am not sure if it qualifies to be hell. I thought of going to the hospital 20 minutes from my home to get some of those sleeping tablets.. Thought of it more than once. And then, somehow, I fell asleep. Got up between 8 30 and 9 today. And here I am, at work, blogging about this totally strange thing happening to me.
Does anyone know anything about this? This sudden insomnia in an otherwise “Somno-phile”? :D
I’ve got problems with my dreams as well, but ya, that’s another story!
UPDATE - 24/Sep
Hurray! I found a cure.. And the reason!
The reason that i have arrived at, is that i haven't attended trainings, meetings or otehr classroom sessions in a long time! We had an area meet yesterday, and Gawd, was i sleeping!
Went home, Said good night to my roomies, slumped into my bed and ZZzzzzzzzzz...... No idea what happened what for the next 8 hours :)
I have been trying to sleep. But No, I cannot.
This Friday, I had to digest a very sad news. == I lost sleep. Well, there was at least a reason I couldn’t sleep. I got this software to play chess from a friend. Infinia. I installed it and was playing with a few guys over the net for sometime. Got bored. Saw TV. Got bored. Lied down, closed my eyes and spent about half an hour thinking why I couldn’t sleep. Got up again, drank water, looked at the sky for sometime, tried to wake my roomie, but in vain.. Tried watching some old movie I had. No. But I couldn’t sleep. It was about 5 in the morning when I slept of exhaustion. Was up by 8 or 9 in the morning. Not sure.
I did not sleep in the afternoon thinking that it may affect my night’s sleep. When darkness came over again, I was awake. Still awake. Tried to shut my eyes and think of Bhumika and Emma Watson, but heck I couldn’t sleep. Got up again. One of my roomies who knew I was awake through the previous night was looking at me in a weird way that could mean only this: “What the hell’s gotten into you???” I watched Godfather II, and another old movie. I took to Infinia again and won 3 matches in a row. One of my opponents was an American who hinted on knowing my nationality that I should have gotten up very early in the morning. I saw the time . five thirty in the AM. No way I am awake! It is quite a famous habit of mine , but for those who do not know, I sleep from 9 PM to 7 AM in general. And here I was, with 3 hours of sleep in 48. No reason, nothing. I just couldn’t sleep.
Sunday morning 6. I was thinking about the story I am working on for my book, hoping I’d sleep. And I did. Don’t know when though. Got up at eight thirty. “Insomnia” was the word running around in my head. Geez, what the heck’s gotten into me? I sent a message to a few people asking if anyone has experienced that before. No one replied. They must have thought that this was just the first step of another of my pranks.
Sunday went past. I did some traveling, and ate till the throat for dinner, taking every step to ensure that I’ll drop dead on my bed as soon as I reach home. But here goes. I didn’t sleep much last night either. At about 3 o clock in the middle of the night, after two successive losses in Infinia, and one pathetic attempt at creative writing for a friend, I decided that this was all I could take. I lied down and starting thinking about my book again. This time, sleep deserted me and badly at that. I looked at the time in my mobile now and then. And the last time I did that, that I could remember, was 4. 45. Just imagine, almost two hours of simply trying to sleep. I didn’t sleep despite the exhaustion I was (and am) feeling. It was torture, but I am not sure if it qualifies to be hell. I thought of going to the hospital 20 minutes from my home to get some of those sleeping tablets.. Thought of it more than once. And then, somehow, I fell asleep. Got up between 8 30 and 9 today. And here I am, at work, blogging about this totally strange thing happening to me.
Does anyone know anything about this? This sudden insomnia in an otherwise “Somno-phile”? :D
I’ve got problems with my dreams as well, but ya, that’s another story!
UPDATE - 24/Sep
Hurray! I found a cure.. And the reason!
The reason that i have arrived at, is that i haven't attended trainings, meetings or otehr classroom sessions in a long time! We had an area meet yesterday, and Gawd, was i sleeping!
Went home, Said good night to my roomies, slumped into my bed and ZZzzzzzzzzz...... No idea what happened what for the next 8 hours :)
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